A Tourist Guide To Lancre (Discworld Mapp) by Stephen Briggs & Terry Pratchett

Author:Stephen Briggs & Terry Pratchett [Briggs, Stephen & Pratchett, Terry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473589650
Publisher: Transworld
Published: 2020-09-10T05:00:00+00:00

The First Walk

Ascent From Lancre Town to the Dancers via the Long Man

This is a walk for those who like to see grand rock scenery to close quarters but who also like to enjoy the flora and fauna of a district along the way and to explore archeological sites of special interest. Bobble-hat folk, in fact.

En Route

Watch out for some of the indigenous species: the Lappet-Faced Worrier (a type of hawk that may be used for hunting by royal females), the Lancre Suicide Thrush, The Lancre Reciprocating Fox and the Lancre Crowhawk. In farming areas you may also see good examples of the Lancre Saddleback, one of the finest pig breeds on the Disc.

I always start this walk with a pint of ale from the Goat and Bush in Lancre Town. The more adventurous may care to try a thimble of scumble, which should contain at least one of the area’s best-known varieties of scumble apple – the Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, or the Green Billet. The locals may counsel you against this, but they are simple folk.

Follow the main road out of Lancre Town, with the castle behind you. If you have partaken unwisely at the Goat and Bush, you may see several roads, and my advice in this case is to take the one in the middle. If the castle is far above you, it would appear that you have mistakenly stepped into Lancre Gorge, and I can only suggest that you take this useful opportunity to study the rather curious rock strata on the way down.

Another local feature to watch out for if you have partaken of scumble is large, slavering many-headed creatures blocking you path. Strike them smartly with you stick. It is probably just the scumble at work and, if not, creatures like this should in any case be discouraged and were probably put there to frighten the faint-hearted walker.

Notice that, once we strike woodland, you can see markers on every tenth tree along the roads. This is a quaint local custom, to help Lancrastians to find their way at times of deep snow or after the inn has shut, when the paths cannot be seen. We don’t want to stick to the main routes, however, so at the first opportunity, turn right onto a wooded path where a wooden barrier indicates that the route is not to be used by wheeled transport. Knock it down. It is illegal to place barriers in the way of the honest rambler.

If you walk softly, you may be lucky, even this close to the town, to see a Lancre Reciprocating Fox. Little is known of this creature except that it appears to act like a warrior about to go into battle. In my experience as an officer of the Duke of Eorle’s Most Honorable Caterers, this probably means that it drinks a lot and makes love as often as possible. The fox has a reddish-brown coat, with golden markings around its snout. It is about the size

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